Tuesday, January 22, 2008

What in the Name of sweet jesus am I doing?

OK, after I write about taking/applying for new position...I now am thinking that perhaps I do not want to do it, and would prefer to work only on unit. In fact, Richard and I went swimming, where I proceeded to cry in pool, saying what do I do? I feel like an idiot. (I was crying while saying that in the pool, and am pretty sure others around me were "What's with that weird woman crying while sitting on a noodle?")
Richard says and I think he comes up with a good analogy, that me deciding to take the position was like when he bought the Kirby vacuum cleaner from the door-to-door guy. At the time, it seemed like a good idea and for a while he liked it a lot, then after a while, he thought, 'What have I done? I don't want a Kirby vacuum." Only a very good salesman convinced him that he did.
In my case, I am very easily wooed by people who tell me, "We sure like you. Stay" Especially if they are drs. This says something about my tendency to be swayed by people I perceive to hold power. Sigh.
So, am thinking I will probably return to unit.
Do other people have self-inflicted crisis?


Blogger Anne said...

Yuck. Good luck with the decision... but definitely don't stay somewhere you aren't happy. It's never worth it.

3:49 AM  
Blogger Theresa said...

I used to but not much any more. After I turned 45 or so I found that the word no is not so hard to use. Now I usually know that when I say yes, I mean it.

9:31 AM  
Blogger Allison said...

Well, there's also the fact that you are a pretty easy going & flexible person, and so I don't think it's you being easily-convinced by people -- you also thought that you had started to feel more comfortable in the new job, that you were doing good work for clients you liked...

I think if you talk to John on the ward, and see if there's anything they can offer you in terms of support (including maybe employee / family services -- I've used therapists through my work during stressful times) -- that would help. And you can even do all this and THEN say you want to go back to the ward -- what's important is that you are trying to deal with it, and that is very positive.

11:50 AM  
Blogger Judith said...

I have started to say no this year, after I got so stressed out, and have found that it is very therapeutic, and people don't hate me, as I feared they would. Do you think if you went back to ward fulltime you would regret not doing the stuff with community? I have found that writing things down in a list with the pros on one side and cons on the other is helpful, it makes me look at it logically instead of skittering around.

2:55 PM  
Blogger Theresa said...

Judem I didn't know you had trouble saying no.

3:13 PM  
Blogger lisaandrichard said...

This is good information.
I think it really is a matter of me not thinking through things after they asked me about part time...
Now, I am thinking through things some more.
And recognize that me waking up early in the am ruminating about work is not a good sign...
Mental health nurse, heal thyself.
I feel that going to the ward is what I really want to do, after talking about it with Richard and John.
I just wish I had thought beforehand, 'What will I say if they ask me about part time work?'
But how was I to know?
Anyway, I feel much better today!

5:39 PM  
Blogger Anne said...

I'm having trouble saying no. Going to have to start, though, or something's gonna give.

10:02 AM  

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